Monster In His Closet
by ReignEmpathy
Summary: Scott battles a frightening otherworldy creature. Rated PG 13 for one account of a gross wiener.


Ok. I know I am a literary genious but I'd like to get lots of reviews validating this fact. So please review!!!!! Oh, and I don't own Scott, Wolverine, Colossus, or any other X men characters. And I sure as hell don't own Peter Tork!!!! So without further ado, I present:  
  
monster in his closet:  
  
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After a relaxing and delightful bubble bath, Scott Summers tucked himself into bed while humming "The Marriage of Figaro" to himself, quietly yet beautifully.  
  
He began to produce a new entry for his journal:  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Today the professor called a very important meeting in his office. So I was there because it's my duty. I must be the responsible one around here. It was about anti mutant terrorists. It was SO LONG and I had to pee SO BAD. so I just went in my pants. I don't think anyone noticed. Once Gambit asked "What's that terrible smell, mon ami?" But I just told him, "I think Wolverine's pet raccoon peed somewhere." Wolverine was all like "Grr I don't have a pet raccoon, bub." But it's ok, I fooled them all.  
  
  
  
After composing this profound and heart-pounding journal entry, Scott realized he wasn't all that tired. He pondered what to do to kill the time.  
  
"I know!" He cried aloud. "I'll order a dozen pizzas and send them to Wolverine's room!"  
  
So he did. And Wolverine was pissed. So pissed in fact, he made a surprise appearance in Scott's chamber to hang him from his underpants onto a coat hook on the door.   
  
So there was Scott, hanging from a hook, wondering what he could do next. The hook could no longer hold his weight and down he fell.   
  
"I'm sure glad I had seconds at dinner tonight," He proclaimed aloud.   
  
Scott put on his Postal Service t shirt and hummed another classical tune. His beautiful song, however, was cut short by an intense growling coming from inside his closet. He went over in his head a short list of what could be producing the noise, but none of it made sense. Before he could think further, a monstrous creature sprung forth from Scott's closet and cried, "Worship me! I am everything that is dark and evil and twisted!" Scott peed his pants for a second time that day.   
  
"Infidel! I see you tremble at the sight of my glorious presence!" The creature's breath stank like raw fish and cheap beer, but Scott was petrified of saying so. He couldn't imagine the horrors this beast was capable of.  
  
"What are you?!" Scott managed to choke out.  
  
"I am the human embodiment of all that is wrong with the world!" He clenched his fists and continued, "You may call me Stu."   
  
And with that, Stu dashed out of Scott's room to wreak havoc upon the entire mansion. Scott sunk to his knees and prayed to God almighty that Stu would not hurt any of his beloved mutant friends.  
  
He heard Colossus scream down the hall. Such a terrible sound. Scott laid on his bed, curled up into a ball, and began to cry. He wondered if there was some way he could have prevented this horrible event. If only he was man enough to stop Stu before he escaped. If anything bad happened to one of his friends, Scott could never forgive himself.  
  
That was it! Scott had to do something. He grabbed his deluxe-sized penis pump and headed into the hallway to stop Stu before the unthinkable ocurred.  
  
There was Stu, at the end of the hallway, looking monstrous and evil as always, laughing to himself about some presumabley heinous thing. The whole sight made Scott's stomach churn. But there was no stopping now. Sucess had to occur. He ran up to Stu, did a few ninja kicks, and slapped the deluxe-sized penis pump onto Stu'd enormous, grotesque manhood. Then he pumped. A lot. Stu screamed in pain.   
  
"You will never get away with this!" Stu roared.  
  
"Yes I will!" Scott contested. He was glowingly happy all was going so well. A few more pumps and Stu would surely retreat back into his demonly world of evil and gross stuff.  
  
Stu cried more and then finally yelled out, "Stop! I'm not really Stu! It was all an act!"  
  
This caught Scott off guard. He stopped. Stu stood up, shakingly. "I'm not really Stu." He repeated. Then he took off his mask.  
  
IT WAS PETER TORK!  
  
Scott peed his pants one last time.  
  
THE END! 


End file.
